Seen
by Loveisalwayshere
Summary: AU. Spencer Hastings has gone through a year of high school after the death of her best friend and loved one, Emily Fields. She visits her therapist for a short period, thinking she can get through the rest of her years just fine, only to be visited by an old friend. Spemily fanfic.
1. Prologue

**I do not own PLL but I own every idea in this fan fiction unless stated. Unfortunately, this is another one of my stories that will be based on a true event. When I was about 4, my cousin was murdered at night in 2002. This will be a tragic story but I will fill it with as much romance and fluff as I can.**

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**Seen**

**Prologue**

**Spencer's POV**

Highschool is supposed to be the best four years of your life. It is supposed to be the time of your life where you go out with friends and party on the weekends. It's when you just let loose and live life.

That is, if you had a life. If you survived the four years in one-piece. If you didn't end up like Emily Fields.

My best friend and the love of my life. We loved each other, even though most people never knew. We found ways to be sneaky and she would be the mastermind behind everything we did. Because of her, no one ever found out about us. She was always the clever one in the group, other than me.

My name is Spencer Hastings. I am that girl in high school who lives in books and studies for hours. The "nerd" in the front row of class.

Actually, let me rephrase all of that nonsense.

I _was _that girl. Before Emily died, I was happy and preppy. I was willing to let go of a book for an hour to talk or even go out to play field hockey, but things have changed... people have changed... everything has changed and there is no going back.

If I could go back, I would. I would be the first person to go back.

Why?

To save a life. Emily's life. She was loved by everyone and no one has gone a day, yet, without thinking of her. No one knows how she died or how she managed to be alone on a school night. But I will do everything I can to find out.

_Everything_.

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"Spence!" A friend of mine called out as she raced down the hallway, speeding passed familiar faces. Her name was Aria Montgomery. She had mid-lengthed dark brown hair with hazel eyes. She was pretty short, about 5'2. She was the shortest out of the group. Not many people knew this about her, but she has dated one of our teachers for a while now. I guess you could say that they were official.

I turned to her, with a glum grin on my face. "Yeah?"

"You sound like all the life has been sucked out of you.. what's wrong?" She asked as if she had no idea how much Emily meant to me.

I gave her a blank stare then answered, "Emily..", with a soft whisper.

She furrowed her eyebrows then opened her mouth, her voice cracked as she spoke. "But- Spence- You know that-"

"Don't! I know what you're going to say. You're going to tell me that Emily passed away a year ago and that she is in a better place, but I am not. I am not in a better place. She made this damn world a better place, but now...now she is gone, Aria, and I can't do anything about it. All I can do is weep at her gravestone and just dream of her..dream that she is still with us, with me, here. But she isn't." I snapped, my voice becoming raspy as a knot in my throat choked me.

"I- I'm sorry, Spence.." Aria apologized, looking away from my eyes.

"Hey!" Another one of my friends walked over to us. "What's with you two? The mood just got really awkward..." It was Hanna. Her full name was Hanna Marin. She was pretty tall, long blonde hair and sharp blue eyes that could make any guy weak to their knees. I've seen it happen. She stared at us until I broke the silence.

"I have to go.. I'll see you two later." I slammed my locker closed then turned on my heels to walk away. As I looked forward, just before taking one step, I saw her. Emily. She was standing in the middle of a group of kids. No- wait- she was behind them. Shit, I can't see her that well.

"Do you guys see her?" I asked as I kept staring in her direction. Her hair was loose, hanging over her shoulders, and she had this bright look in her eyes..it was almost too real.

"What are you talking about, Spencer?" Hanna asked me as her and Aria looked in the same direction. "Who are you looking at? There aren't any girls where you are looking.."

I lifted my arm to point but I quickly dropped it back to my side. One jock walked in front of her and before I knew it, she was gone. Like she just disappeared into thin air.

"Uh- I gotta go.." I quickly took a step forward and began walking down the hall to my last class.

The halls felt colder than usual. The air was crisp, almost like the winter weather was inside of the halls and classrooms. I held my book close to my chest, my arms crossed, and my gaze was looking straight down to the floor. I knew my way around my school, so I didn't have to look where I was going. I walked into class and took a seat in the back. As the bell rang, Mr. Fitz walked in and welcomed us.

"Good afternoon, everyone." He had that chime-full sound in his voice, as if Aria promised a night of surprises or something. "How many of you read _"The Scarlet Letter" _when you were sophomores?"

I knew he was scanning the room for raised hands, but no one raised them. Even though everyone should have read that book over the summer, no one wanted to answer his next questions.

"Okay, I know all of you may have skimmed through it. But I know who really put time into the book. Spencer?" He called my name and my head jolted up. I didn't expect him to call on me, nor did I expect to see what I was looking at in the corner of the room, behind him. Emily was standing there, again. In plain view of everyone. She was leaning against the wall and just looking right at me. I began to stand up, but Mr. Fitz spoke again. "Spencer? Are you feeling okay?"

I cleared my throat and quickly sat down as I snapped my attention back to him. As soon as I looked back to him, she was gone. Again. "Y-yeah, I am okay. Uh, the book is about a woman named Hester Prynne who has gone two years without seeing her husband so she has an affair with the minister in Boston then gets pregnant. Then, when the baby is born, she..uh.." I looked towards the empty seats in front of me, and she was sitting there. It was like my mind was playing games with me.

"Then she what, Spencer?" Mr. Fitz asked me, making me look away from Emily.

"She..uh..she sees her husband in the crowd as she is publicly humiliated. He then tries to get revenge on the guy who had sex with his wife but he dies..uh everyone dies pretty much, in the end, but Pearl, the baby, doesn't." I answered, looking back to the seat to see if she was there..but she wasn't.

"You don't look so good..do you want to step outside?" He offered me and I nodded.

While I got up and grabbed my belongings to leave the room, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and text Aria.

_Tell your boyfriend that I had to go. I wasn't feeling good and I needed to go home. It was an emergency. -Spencer_

Within a minute, Aria answered me.

_Alright, I will let him know. Just go home, he will understand. You know you're his favorite student other than me of course. -Aria_

I put my phone away as I finished the message and began walking outside, towards my car. I quickly pulled out my keys and unlocked my car, opened the door, and sat inside. I pushed my key into the ignition and started the car. Once I was ready, I pulled out of the parking spot and drove to my therapists' office, Dr. Sullivan.

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I rang the bell that was at the entrance of her office, letting her know I was here. The door bell buzzed back and I heard the door unlock. I stepped inside and walked towards her therapy room, knocking on the door before opening it.

"Dr. Sullivan?" I called out as I poked my head in.

"Spencer Hastings..how are you? I haven't seen you in a few months." She grinned at me then looked to the couch next to her. "Please, have a seat."

I nodded then forced a smile to appear on my pale face as I walked over to the couch and sat down. Her room seemed more calming than usual. Pictures of her son were all around her bookshelves and such. I looked back to her and took a deep breath. "I know it is the middle of the afternoon, but I think I really need therapy today." I breathed out.

"Well, why do you need it so badly? Is something going on at home?" She asked.

"N-no. At least, not yet." I looked down at my hands and noticed how rapidly they shook. "I have been..well, I don't know how to say this.."

"Go ahead, I will not judge."

I looked up at her with a hurtful look in my watery eyes. "I am seeing her. Emily. I see her wherever I go. It just started today but I could have sworn that she was actually there. I see her vividly and I know she is moving around and breathing. But once I look away, she disappears..am I going crazy?" I asked her with a worried expression.

"No, that doesn't make you crazy. You are just going through a mournful stage..You do know she is gone, though, right?" She asked, searing for verification.

I frowned, looking to my right as though I wouldn't have to tell the truth if I wasn't looking.

"Say no."

I snapped my head up to look at Dr. Sullivan. "What did you just say?"

"I didn't say anything..I asked if you knew she was gone?" Now she gave me this extremely concerned look.

"I am still here, Spence. I'm not gone forever."

I heard the familiar voice and immediately got chills as I looked around the empty room. She was nowhere to be found, though.

"I know..I have to get home, my parents might think I am missing." I quickly got up and rushed for the door. "Thank you, Dr. Sullivan!" I ran out of the room without a response and towards the front door. As soon as I was outside, I ran to my car and sped home. It didn't take that long for me to get there, since I was going about 50 mph.

Once I pulled into my driveway, I grabbed my bag and rushed to the front door of my house. I looked over to see Melissa's car along with my parents' cars. I unlocked the front door and walked upstairs, dropping my bag on the floor of my room as I plopped down on my bed.

I turned to my nightstand where I had a photo of Emily and I, hugging at a party. I picked it up stared at it until I heard my window creak open.

My head jolted to the right, looking at the window, only to see her again.

"Emily?" I asked with a shaky tone in my voice.

"Don't freak out." She said, taking a step closer to me.

I knew the past year was weird without Emily here, but seeing her in front of me made my bones rattle. I needed answers, and I needed them now.

_"See, as much as you want to hold on to the bitter sore memory that someone has left this world, you are still in it" _  
_― Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper_

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**I hope this prologue was perfect! Please review and leave some thoughts! Thank you to my readers who came from my earlier stories and hello my new viewers! **


	2. No Such Thing As Time

**Thank you for all of the reviews. For those of you who are new to my stories, I do reply to all of your reviews, no matter what, in the beginning of the chapter. I figured if you took time to talk to me, I should return the favor.**

**Shayrhin10: I do write a few dark themed chapters, this one won't be so dark. But, I assure you that the prologue isn't the only chapter you will be left with numerous possibilities. **

**ButtahhhBenzooo: Emily is definitely dead, I promise. I am not going to trick any of you into thinking she is alive, so don't worry about that! I love your username, by the way. Ashley and Shay were always my OTP.**

**123SS/Devilwithin21/Guest: Thank you so much for the review. I have advanced in my writing over the course of a year. When I first started writing, it was a disaster, but thank you!**

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**Chapter 1**

**Spencer's POV  
**She was standing there.. two feet from my reach, and I couldn't even move. The days that have gone by where I cried myself to sleep because she wasn't around. The times I yearned for her touch and the warmth of her skin against mine. The past year she hasn't been here because of her death, but now she is here.

And I can't even move to her.

"Emily?" I asked with a shaky tone in my voice.

"Don't freak out." She said, taking a step closer to me.

As soon as her foot inched forward, mine went backwards.

"Spencer, please, don't be scared of me." Emily's eyes were looking right through me. She didn't even blink. It was like this was a dream that I was living in and I needed to wake up.

"Why can I see you and no one else can?" I asked, still slightly trembling.

"Because I only want you to see me..no one else." She stepped forward again, slowly. But, this time, I didn't step back.

"Wait- don't come any closer." I swallowed the saliva in my mouth then blinked a few times, trying to process it all. "Why are you here now and not before? When I needed you the most?"

"I tried to show you I was still here but you wouldn't see me. You would get scared of the noises and the signals I sent you." She took another step and now she was just inches from my body.

"So, it was you who would knock on my door or make the bushes rustle when I was walking home?" I asked, my eyes fixated on her.

"Yeah, although, the bush thing was cause I almost tripped.. I just wanted to make sure you got home safely and didn't end up like me."

We stood in silence for a few seconds before she took one last step and threw her arms around my body. I shuddered at the feeling of her arms around my waist, holding me against her chest. I began to whimper as warm tears rolled down my cheeks and fell off my chin or jaw. Her skin was so cold, like ice in a freezer. And she was absent of a heartbeat. I wasn't used to the silence in someones chest, it was different.

"I missed you so much, Em." I sobbed into her shoulder after wrapping my arms around her neck.

"I'm so sorry, Spence. I should've tried harder to-"

"No, seriously don't apologize." She ran her fingers through my hair, still holding on tightly to me.

"Did you miss talking to me as much as I missed talking to you?" I asked in a gravelly tone.

"Yeah, but the perks of being a ghost is that you see other ghosts." She replied with a slightly raspy voice.

"That's creepy as hell, Em." I chuckled softly into her chest. We began to sway from side to side as we were holding each other.

"True. But I learned a lot about being dead." She cleared her throat, "want to lay down or something while I tell you this?"

I looked up to her dark brown eyes and nodded. "Sure, only if you lay with me."

"Deal."

I turned to my bed and gradually laid down on it. She followed me and ended up sitting upright against the headboard. I rested my body against her side and let her left arm wrap around my body, again, like it was before. "So, tell me everything.." I said while my tears began to subside.

"Well, I am guessing you already noticed how cold my skin is..right?" She asked.

"Yeah. I figured cause- y'know- you're dead." I answered her.

"Uh-huh, but also cause I've been dead for only a year. I start to lose the ice cold touch after a while, it comes with time. Also, me being seen only by the eyes I want to see me comes with time. I just learned how to do it. It also gets kinda lonely, being dead and all. No one knows you're there and..it just sucks. It's almost as bad as being alive. Being a teenage girl in high school while you are going through depression. It sucks." She sighed. "Now I know why some people cut themselves, even though I don't encourage that at all. But, I get it now, I think. To be honest, I would rather be dead than alive."

I looked up at her then sat up.

"What? Did I say something wrong?" She asked, leaning over to me. "C'mon, it's the first few minutes that you've seen me in a year and you're already mad?"

I sat at the edge of my bed and turned my head to look at her. "How did you die, Emily?" I asked with stern eyes.

"I-I don't even know. It was too dark and I never saw who it was. Or what it was." She replied.

"Well, whatever it was, it happened at just the perfect time for death but the worst time to be alive." I snapped.

"Spencer, where is this coming from?" She gave me a concerned look, her eyes were now half shut.

"You left me here, Emily. I know it wasn't your choice, but you did leave me here. Do you know how I found out? I went to school the next day and everyone was quiet. Everyone looked at me and I could just see it in their eyes that they felt sorry for me. _Sorry for me!_ Not Hanna, not Aria, me! It made me think that some stupid rumor was spread about me, but no. I walk passed your locker and I see flowers and pictures of you. I felt like the air in my body escaped me and my heart stopped. My world literally went black. You know the worst part about that whole day? I knew why you were alone, because now I remember. It's like each day that goes by, I remember more and more. We argued the night before about something stupid with the time we spent together. Look how ironic that was..because we weren't together the night you died and now...fuck, Emily. Look at yourself. You're dead and I can't bring you back!" I choked on the tears that began rushing down my cheeks again.

"Spence, I know you're hurt, but you don't even know my point of view on this whole thing. At least I am here now, right? Aren't you happy to see me?"

"Of course I am! I am so glad that I could see your gorgeous face again, but I hate it at the same time. Now I have to see you everyday and know that you could've been by my side. We could've gone to college..I just- I don't know what I am going to do. I am so overwhelmed right now, it's driving me crazy."

"Just breathe, okay?" She crawled across the bed and took a hold of my hand. "I'm sorry I made a stupid mistake of walking home alone.. I should've called someone to take me home."

"It's my fault, too.." I whispered.

"No it's not." She replied, looking down at our feet while I looked up at the ceiling.

"I should have been with you. Instead, I took the long way home to relieve the stress. If I took the regular route, I would've seen you walking home. I would've been able to save you. I may have even been able to avoid the whole situation.."

"I get that you're mad, but you can't blame either of us. We both did something wrong and we can't go back. It's in the past. Live in the present and look forward to the future, okay?" She cooed.

I looked down at our hands and intertwined our fingers together. "I love you." I said softly.

"I love you more, Spence." She squeezed my hand a little then smiled up at me.

We looked into each other's eyes just as we both began to lean in for a kiss. But the silence was broken when I heard footsteps at my bedroom door and my sister barged in.

"Hey, are you okay in here?" She asked, looking at me and seeming to be totally oblivious of Emily. I turned my head to Emily and she raised her finger to her lips, telling me to be quiet about her.

"Uh, yeah, why?" I moved my attention back to Melissa.

"Well, because you were yelling loud enough for me to hear you from the barn." She leaned on one foot more than the other then placed her right hand on her hip. "Having an argument with your boyfriend? Oh, wait, you don't have one, do you?" She scoffed.

"It was the music. You should just leave my room, you're being a pain in my ass." I shouted to her.

"Spencer!" I heard my mom yell from her room. "Don't speak to your sister that way!"

"She started it-"

"I don't want to hear it. Melissa, leave your sister alone." I heard my mom getting up from her bed and walking over to my room. She stood beside Melissa at the door then noticed my puffy red cheeks. "Melissa, why don't you go start up dinner? I will be down in a second."

"Fine.." She hissed as she stared me down and walked towards the stairs.

"Spencer." My mom said with slight concern in her voice. "Have you been crying?"

I looked down and felt my bed move, making me look back up. Emily was now standing at the door, looking at us.

"Spencer?"

"Yeah, I have. It's just that I have been remembering Emily and it still hurts."

My mom began to reach for my arm, pulling the sleeve of my shirt up and seeing the scars. "You haven't been cutting again, have you?"

"No.." I cleared my throat. I could feel Emily's eyes on me, now. She was pissed off, I knew she would be. I never told her that I self-harmed.

"Okay, well, if you want to sign up for the therapy again, let me know. I don't want you to be depressed again." She stood up and walked towards my door. Emily moved out of the way as my mom walked out and shut the door.

"You better tell me what happened the month I died or I swear to God, Spencer-"

"I cut myself on a daily basis. I hated the fact you were gone, end of story." I sighed.

"...you're not cutting again, are you?"

"No, I just told my mom I wasn't."

"You better not be lying to me, Spencer." She grabbed my arm and looked at the scars. "Your stronger than this."

"Sometimes the strongest people have to break down at times to stay sane.."

"You and your damn quotes." She rolled her eyes.

"You missed them, I know you did." I pushed a small grin on my face. "When can I tell the girls that you are back?"

"Whoa, Spence, you can't do that! If they know, then everyone will know. I don't think they will tell anyone, but you know how everyone has their ways of hearing things. I can't risk that. Especially if some people think you're crazy for saying you can see ghosts."

"I don't care what they think of me!" I raised my voice.

"Well, I do! So, you better not tell anyone about this. Promise me, okay?" She put her pinky out, like we did when we were little girls.

"I promise.." I hooked my pinky around hers then looked in her eyes. "Your eyes never changed color..they are actually brighter than before."

"You were always fascinated by my eyes. I never thought they were so special." She grumbled.

"I think they are unique and gorgeous, just like you." I leaned in slowly, feeling my forehead press up against her cold forehead.

"Shut up.." She said quietly.

"Make me." I challenged her with a cocky smile on my face. She closed the space between our lips and sealed it with a soft and longing kiss. Her lips were cold, but not as cold as the rest of her body. They were still so soft and sweet like sugar. I never got tired of her kisses even though I almost forgot what they were like.

She pulled away but kept her eyes closed. "I think you should go have dinner. I don't want you to starve."

"I think dinner can wait.." I licked my lips then pushed my lips against Emily's, taking in every savoring second of it.

We had gotten so lost in the past year of absence of each other, that we never remembered the little things that we shared. I knew I never had to fear of forgetting anything else, as long as she was here with me.

_"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." _  
_― Dr. Suess_

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**I hope this first official chapter was what you were looking forward to. I should warn you, though, I rarely update twice a month! It's normally a once a month kind of thing, I'm sorry. But, I do make up for the time that is not used! Remember to review and thank you to my new followers!**


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